Read an Excerpt from Shawn Carlow’s PEOPLE OF THE TITANIC

On April 10, 1912, the Titanic departed England, ultimately bound for America. It famously struck an iceberg along the way, and as the mighty ship went down, it took 1,500 people with it, most of them good-hearted, innocent people. But what of the jerks, losers, weirdos, and malcontents? They were also People of the Titanic. In this comical, fanciful— and completely hypothetical — depiction of life on the Titanic, Shawn Carlow (Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon) brings to the surface 30 stories of doomed souls who sailed upon that ship of dreams. Here’s one such yarn. Fellow passengers, behold the Detmer Brothers.

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The Detmer brothers, Andreas and Stefan, were German businessmen staying in second class who ran a hot dog stand on the First Class promenade deck of Titanic – the only sanctioned food stand on the entire vessel. If you were in first class, most of the grand ship’s food was eaten in the sumptuous café, saloon, or restaurant. A slightly less accommodating but still extravagant eating space awaited those in second; trash chutes served the third-class passengers, delivering the contents of wiped-off plates and leftover soup straight down to the lower decks, where the rabble waited eagerly with their open mouths and collection buckets.

The Detmer brothers were well known for their antics when preparing frankfurters, catching them in hot dog buns behind their backs or through their legs. Many a hungry passenger marveled at the magical dexterity with which they performed, while also fervently hoping that their meal would not be dropped upon the deck, which most times it was not. Tom Cruise was said to have studied old newsreels of the brothers when he was preparing for his role in Cocktail. 

The brothers have also been credited with inventing the tip jar — and placing money in it at the start of the day to make it seem like people were leaving money, even if they weren’t, because remember, it was mostly wealthy people up on the promenade deck.

The night of the sinking, the stand had been closed for several hours when the ship struck ice, but when their dark fate seemed certain, Stefan Detmer suggested to his brother that they serve warm hot dogs as comfort food to the worried passengers. And a few survivors later told of how, when the ship was in its final throes and tilting downward, the brothers were seen handing hot dogs to people sliding by and entreating them to “tell all your friends.” The futility in that gesture was obvious, but, still, you have to admire their gumption.

The two brothers’ bodies were never found after the sinking, but remnants of the hot dog stand washed up on a beach in Greenland and were used to make a memorial to the brothers that still stands in Germany. In Hamburg.

People of the Titanic is now available in print and ebook formats.