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6 Important Writerly Questions with Ross Bullen

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Attention students, administrators, and adjunct professors: Ross Bullen, author of How to Succeed in Academia (While Failing at Everything Else), is speaking. It’s the go-to guide for career academics (and a whole lot more weird and dark places) from someone who has been in the trenches of faculty life and seen it all and survived, albeit barely. We conducted this interview with Ross in a format to which he’s accustomed: homework.


1.Who are you? What are you doing here?

I appreciate that you are starting this interview with a question that you could ask to either a writer or an old man you caught shoplifting cat food from a bodega. Fortunately, I aspire to be both of those people. My name is Ross Bullen, I’m an English professor at an art school, and I live in Toronto.

2. Since “where do you get your ideas?” is a terrible question, what made you want to write this book?

I’ve been writing satire about academia for a while now. It started with angry Facebook posts before gravitating to the place where unhinged rants truly became an art form: Twitter. Eventually, I started submitting stuff to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. After a normal-ish number of rejections (7?), I had a piece accepted. More rejections followed, of course, but once I figured out that academic satire was my niche, I had a lot more success. I noticed that a number of McSweeney’s writers were able to turn their short humor pieces into books, so I took a class on writing a book proposal with the fabulous and hilarious Caitlin Kunkel, and about a year later my proposal was accepted by Humorist Books!

3. How did you KEEP writing this book?

Cocaine, of course! Or at least it’s middle-aged equivalent: coffee and guilt.

4. Who is this book for, anyway?

Honestly, anyone who has ever been a part of academia, as a student, a teacher, a parent, or an administrator, would probably find something to love (or hate) about this book. But I’d say the audience who are most likely to enjoy the book are the extremely online set of academics sometimes known as “Academic Twitter.”

5. Any darlings you had to kill?

John Hodgman once made a list of 700 fake hobo names. I wanted to do the same thing, but for adjunct professors who sailed with the Pilgrims on the Mayflower. I could only come up with 99, so I guess that’s 601 darling adjunct professors that I had to kill.

6. What are you working on now?

I’m an English professor, so I’m always working on academic research and writing projects. On the more creative side of things, I’m starting research for a non-fiction book I want to write about a professor who taught at the same art school as me in the 1970s. He taught some really weird classes that involved things like LSD therapy, eating tiger meat, and abandoning his students on an island in the Bahamas. Remember when school used to be exciting? And kind of traumatizing? Anyway, I’ve been talking to a bunch of his former students and colleagues, and it’s been a lot of fun.

How to Succeed in Academia (While Failing at Everything Else) is available now from Humorist Books.

6 Important Writerly Questions With… Shawn Carlow

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Shawn Carlow has written for a lot of shows you enjoy — Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon — and now he’s written a collection of stories you’re going to really like. In People of the Titanic, he tells the stories of 30 doomed malcontents and oddballs who sailed on the ill-fated “Ship of Dreams” back in 1912. They weren’t all industrialists, innocents, and Leonardo DiCaprio, afterall.

While you wait for your copy of these (fictional, by the way) tales to download or to arrive in your mailbox, get to know the great Shawn Carlow, an agile author who pulled off nothing less than a high-wire comedy act.

1. Who are you? What are you doing here?

I’m a writer. I grew up in New Hampshire but I live in .LA. I’ve written a book that interplanetary travelers may one day study the pages of and conclude that the human race was worthy of extinction. Or they might laugh. I hope they laugh, understand why they’re laughing, and are even actually capable of that function.

2. Since “Where do you get your ideas?” is a terrible question, what made you want to write this book?

It went through a few iterations, each becoming longer and longer as time passed. Well over 10 years ago, it started as a standup joke that I told on stage about “the other heroes of the Titanic.” People usually know about the unfortunate captain who stayed at the helm of the ship, the band that kept playing as the ship went down, and the Unsinkable Molly Brown. I just tried imagining what other people could have been on board with them. A mime had to be there. And two brothers who ran a hot dog stand was a must.

Next, I thought of it maybe as a TV project broken into 10 segments.

And then the opportunity from Humorist Books came along to turn it into a book. Perfect.

3. How did you keep writing this book?

It wasn’t that hard. Once I’d started delving into this world, I found I enjoyed it quite a lot. Plus, I enjoy doing historical research and writing imaginative comedy.

4. Who is this book for, anyway?

People who like to laugh and who like history and like how things have changed, but also observing in a lot of ways how we’re very much the same.

And, listen, I don’t want to keep harping on the interplanetary visitors I spoke of earlier, but I would hope to have my consciousness downloaded one day so I could witness their reactions to my book in the distant future. Perhaps I could even win an interstellar prize from them that’s honest in a way that the Miss Universe Pageant is not.

5. Any darlings you had to kill?

Surprisingly few. The great majority of what I wrote is in there. Since it’s not one long novel but rather mini stories of the characters within, and occasionally how they intersect, I mostly just had to kill small bits where characters intersect and it didn’t make sense to the characters we’d already encountered.

6. What are you working on now?

A book of humorous short stories. My favorite story in the collection so far is about a young woman who brings her fiancé to visit her traditional grandmother — the kind who never stops feeding you — and it becomes a test of wills when it turns out the fiancé is a competitive eater.

Also, since that world has been so much fun for me, I’m partway through another 30 stories in the extremely imaginatively titled, More People of the Titanic.

People of the Titanic is now available in print and ebook formats. 

6 Important Writerly Questions with…Dewey Lovett

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I got to talk with our newest literary breakout, Dewey Lovett, a very terrific stand-up comedian and author of the just as terrific Drinksgiving. What’s Drinksgiving? It’s a funny, twist-filled crime story about poor decision, unlikely friendships, disappointed relatives, small towns, beer, and the longest holiday weekend of the year made even longer. It’s the kind of novel you’ll read all at once because you’re so delighted and want to know what happens, and also the kind of book that would make a great host gift for whoever is having you over for Thanksgiving this year.

But let’s hear what Dewey has to say about it! Happy Drinksgiving, everybody!

***

1. Who are you? What are you doing here?

Hello! I’m Dewey Lovett! I am a comedian turned novelist. I’m here because telling a story this long and twisting doesn’t work on stage. I’ve always wished there were more FUNNY books in the world — and I don’t mean comedian memoirs! I want more funny fiction, so I did my best to write the book I wanted to read.

2. Since “Where do you get your ideas?” is a terrible question, what made you want to write this book?

To answer the terrible question, this idea came from a Thanksgiving morning hangover when I wondered ‘what could be the worst thing that happened last night?’ I also wondered, ‘why aren’t there more Thanksgiving comedies?’ At the time that this idea came to me, I had been studying the craft of longform fiction for a while, so I was ready to go all out!

3. How did you keep writing this book?

I stayed committed to writing this book because it was FUN to write. I looked forward to it after work. Also, my husband was super supportive and encouraged me to spend time writing and committing to the bit. He has also written funny novels so it felt like two flavors of support in one: husband-support and funny writer-support. I needed both. If I ever continued to feel unmotivated I just pictured how cool it would feel later to say I wrote a novel.

4. Who is this book for, anyway?

This book is for people who want an easy, fun, upbeat read. It might even be for people who don’t like reading but want to try it. It’s meant to be consumable like a beach read without the romance. Maybe something to be read on the plane ride home for Thanksgiving? It’s also for people who love reading. I hope this book makes its way into rural and girl power book clubs.

5. Any darlings you had to kill?

I had to murder almost the entire first draft and I’m so glad I did. The story was originally one omniscient POV. Now it’s dual first person and the pace and mystery are so much better! I had to make so many sacrifices that after a while I didn’t care anymore. Every time I cut a joke, I added a better one somewhere else. There was one darling my beta readers said I NEEDED to cut but I loved it way too much so I rearranged the plot around it. To be clear, that is deranged writer behavior! But it made the ending feel soooo good and I have no regrets.

6. What are you working on now?

On top of doing lots of stand up comedy, I am happily working on my next novel! It’s too early in the process to give a proper synopsis but it’s another comedy set in snowy Rochester, NY. Once again I look forward to working on it every day!

***

Gobble up a copy of Drinksgiving right now.

6 Important Writerly Questions with Sam Pasternack

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Walker!

The newest book from Humorist Books is one of our best yet, and best ever. Yeah! It’s Walker, the hilarious, moving, and picaresque road trip-style story of Walker Dilettante. In this novel, the sheltered, modern-day descendent and biggest fan of 19th century long-distance pedestrian Preston Dilettante takes it upon himself to literally follow in his forebearer’s footsteps and hoof it across the whole damn country with little more than a bindle full of homemade cereal and his Instagram-savvy cousin, Ria. Why? Well, why not, but really, he wants to reunite his far-flung relatives and take their photo with Preston’s walkin’ boot, before his beloved Grandpappy walks off this Earth forever.

The quite original and delightful Walker sprung forth fully-formed from the mind of comedy writer, TV producer, and Russell Crowe doppleganger Sam Pasternack. He submitted to our gauntlet of questions — read on to see what he has to say for himself. Also, if you’re in the NYC area on September 4, go say hi to Sam and buy Walker and attend his electrifying Walker launch event at The Mysterious Bookshop.

***

1. Who are you? What are you doing here?

Sam Pasternack, 6’0, auditioning for the role of “author of Walker.”

2. Since “Where do you get your ideas?” is a terrible question, what made you want to write this book?

Where do I get my ideas? What a great question! Walker came about when my brother Jesse told me about Pedestrianism, a form of competitive long-distance walking that was popular in the Civil War era. I’ve always loved learning about sports subcultures that have gone out of style over the years. Once I started imagining the modern-day descendants of the most famous pedestrians, Walker’s story came into focus.

3. How did you keep writing this book?

I loved every moment I spent getting lost in the world of Walker. No matter what was going on in my life each day – whether I was traveling, working, picketing during the 2023 WGA/SAG strike, or playing in a marching band – I always knew that I could come back to Walker’s journey, that I could go somewhere with Walker and Ria. It was a grounding force, the backbeat of this last year for me. It was such a joy to feel that way while building out this world, and I hope readers can lose themselves in the story just like I did.

Sam!

4. Who is this book for, anyway?

Do you like road novels? Conspiracies? Family histories? Mysteries? Little ditties about crossing state lines? Imaginary histories of small towns?  Easily excitable characters who love discovering aspects of our world they never knew existed? Well, then Walker is for you.

5. Any darlings you had to kill?

Some ideas evolved as I was writing, so fortunately I feel like any characters or stories that needed to change did change for the better. Most of those changes involved making sure I was properly adhering to the geography of the United States and what would be a logical walking route. So, because of that, there’s no trips to New Orleans or Tuba City, Arizona for Walker. At least not yet.

6. What are you working on now?

I’ve been working on some musical projects, some animated projects, some screenplays and pilots, and I’m just starting to figure out my next novel. I definitely have more to explore in the world of Walker, but right now I’m playing around with something new. And now that I’ve finished writing this book about people who walk across the country, I finally have more time to go on walks myself. I’m sticking to quick jaunts around my neighborhood, but if pedestrianism ever makes a comeback, I’ll be ready.

6 Important Writerly Questions with Jeff Giles

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Langley Powell!

What do you have to say for yourself, Jeff Giles, author of hot new Humorist Books novel and brain-altering literary experience Langley Powell and the Society for the Defense of the Mundane?

1. Who are you? What are you doing here?

How do I work this? Where is that large automobile? Oh, we aren’t singing “Once in a Lifetime” by the Talking Heads? Fine, fine. I’m Jeff Giles, silly! I’ve been writing about pop culture off and on since the late ’80s, and along the way, I’ve done all sorts of things — published a newspaper, ran a record label, released albums of my own music and music by other artists, launched websites, and even written other books. But I never thought I’d end up writing a novel until Langley barged into my brain and said hi, which just goes to show you how delightfully surprising life can be.

2. Since “Where do you get your ideas?” is a terrible question, what made you want to write this book?

I think a lot of creative types have ideas that they try to shoo away for whatever reason, but those ideas keep coming back and tugging at the ol’ mental shirtsleeve until you finally give in and say “FINE, LET’S SEE WHERE THIS LEADS.” Such was the case with Langley Powell. I was thoroughly amused by the idea of a skeptic dying and being immediately annoyed to discover that he has become a ghost, but I had no plans to write a novel, and in fact didn’t even think I had it in me to pull it off. Still, the concept kept reminding me it was waiting for my attention, and the more I thought about it, the more I really wanted to read the thing.

When the COVID lockdown hit in the spring of 2020, I had a week’s vacation booked from work and suddenly no trip to take, so I figured I might as well spend that time exploring Langley’s story; initially, I planned on writing it as a collaborative novel with my dear friend (and Humorist Books editor) Brian Boone, but after the first few chapters, he very kindly pointed out that this seemed like something I needed to finish on my own.

3. How did you keep writing this book?

Once I got past the overwhelming conviction that I wasn’t a novelist, Langley was really a whole bunch of fun to write. Following that first week, I set aside big chunks of my weekends to work on the book, and by November of 2020, the first draft was finished. Some tinkering followed, but all in all, once that initial momentum was established, these characters told me what they wanted to say and where they needed to go. Chalk one more up for giving in to ideas that won’t stop nagging you.

4. Who is this book for, anyway?

It’s for me, and for you, and for everyone in the world! BUY YOUR COPY NOW. 
Initially, I viewed this as a semi-educational comedy for middle grade readers, but once I started shopping it around, numerous folks were quick to tell me that this is not that. (There isn’t any sex or serious profanity, or even much in the way of violence, so I still think it’s fun for the whole family.) Under all the jokes, I think it’s really a story about learning to accept your perceived shortcomings, make peace with yourself, and let go of the toxic stuff that burdens you, and these are messages that I think anyone could benefit from… especially when they’re surrounded by rampant silliness and unexpected cameos from dead celebrities.

Jeff Giles!

5. Any darlings you had to kill?

In retrospect, I think one of the nice things about writing this type of story is that anything can happen, so any goofy set piece or random line of dialogue you have your heart set on can be justified if you want it enough. As far as I remember, there were no deceased darlings this time out, but maybe that just means the knives will be extra sharp for the next book.

6. What are you working on now?

I’m currently at work on three books. One is a collection of interviews with people who’ve been through an experience that forced them to start over in some fundamental way — job loss, divorce, serious medical diagnosis, that kind of thing. The goal with that project is to illustrate that while these major resets are often terrifying, they also often lead us to stronger, more fully realized, and even happier versions of ourselves. The second project is a collaboration, so I probably shouldn’t speak out of turn, but it’s music-related, and also non-fiction. Finally, I’m currently about 7,000 words into the next novel, which will be an L.A.-set detective story that I’m envisioning as a sort of modern-day Chinatown with jokes. Know any publishers who might be interested in that kind of thing?

6 Important Writerly Questions with Gary M. Almeter

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Meet Gary M. Almeter. He’s an attorney, an author of multiple novels (including the exquisite The Emperor of Ice-Cream), and a co-host of the Humorist-aligned podcast The Official Dream Dinner Party Podcast, an extension of his book The Official Dream Dinner Party Handbook. And with his best friend Reese Cassard, he’s the author of the wickedly funny and shockingly accurate new comedy title Red Tie, Blue Tie: How to Tell Whether Someone is Liberal or Conservative in Any Possible Scenario.

1. Who are you? What are you doing here?

You know how sometimes writers exert themselves whilst crafting their prose, to wit, like how John Steinbeck traveled extensively, living and working alongside migrant workers during the Great Depression to capture their plight while writing The Grapes of Wrath, and how Emily Dickinson’s reclusive lifestyle and intense focus on her inner life and literary craft was both a result of and a catalyst for her prolific writing and a life marked by solitude and introspection, and how Leo Tolstoy spent six years writing War and Peace by immersing himself in the history and culture of early 19th-century Russia?  Like that but just less so. I’m an attorney and humor writer who loves to write, loves to make people laugh, and loves to see his name in print.

2. Since “Where do you get your ideas?” is a terrible question, what made you want to write this book?

Reese had the original idea and we collaborated on a list published in or on McSweeney’s in December 2022.  People liked it so we decided to collaborate on a book. Identity politics is such a funny thing — not funny ha ha but funny like interesting and newish and amorphous and unnavigable — so the idea of taking our collective thumbnail and collectively scratching beneath the collective surface to collectively ask, “who are we?” and generating more nuanced responses, to wit, “I am a Baltimorean,” “I am an attorney,” “I drive a Ford Explorer,” “I am a pickleball player,” “I eat Chipotle,” “I wear Nike Air Monarchs when I barbecue,” “When I steal cabbage from the grocery store, I hide it in my jacket,” etc.

3. How did you keep writing this book?

In the Introduction, Reese calls the book “one joke told thousands of different ways,” which is apt.  While there are endless ways to tell the joke (is this your way of asking us to do a Volume 2?), Reese started toying with the format, to wit, adding some asides and some meta commentary.  That made it very fun. There were tasks we had to complete but there was also the possibility that when genius struck, to wit, identifying if the Jolene of whom Dolly Parton sang was liberal or conservative.

4. Who is this book for, anyway?

This book is for anyone who yearns to recognize the import of intersectionality by expanding our concepts of identity in identity politics by recognizing the multifaceted nature of individual identities, to wit, beyond race, beyond gender, and beyond sexuality, to include ersatz intersections of socioeconomic status, shopping habits, music preferences, and more in the hopes that a broader approach will foster inclusivity, understanding, and solidarity across diverse experiences and challenging simplistic categorizations and promoting nuanced, empathetic dialogue and policy. All of those people this book is for.

5. Any darlings you had to kill?

Yes, we had a darling puppy named Cricket. But we had to kill it because it was guilty of canine insubordination.

6. What are you working on now?

I have a Google doc filled with things that I’m working on, to wit, things I’ve overheard that resonate, random ideas, some concepts that won’t go away and I just don’t know what to do with yet. I also grew up near Niagara Falls and am working on a book about it.

Red Tie, Blue Tie: How to Tell Whether Someone is Liberal or Conservative in Any Possible Scenario is available now.

6 Important Writerly Questions with Reese Cassard

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Reese Cassard co-wrote Humorist Books latest release and out-of-the-gate hit on the political humor charts, Red Tie, Blue Tie: How to Tell Whether Someone is Liberal or Conservative in Any Possible Scenario. We bombarded him with our standard author questionnaire. Here’s what he said!

  1. 1. Who are you? What are you doing here?

I ask myself the same questions every morning. Right now, I am a copywriter by day and a comedy writer by night. I currently live in Denver, and I’m here to promote Red Tie, Blue Tie: How to Tell Whether Someone is Liberal or Conservative in Any Possible Scenario, the new book I wrote with my best friend, Gary Almeter.

2. Since “Where do you get your ideas?” is a terrible question, what made you want to write this book?

Besides the selfish desire to see my name in print? Probably the power of friendship. Gary and I have enjoyed collaborating on short pieces for years—including the original “How to Tell Whether Someone is Liberal or Conservative” that ran in McSweeney’s—and we’d been kicking around the idea of writing a book together for a while. I can’t remember who thought of it first, but one of us realized our liberal vs. conservative premise had enough legs to become a full book. Once we paired that with the fact that an election year was right around the corner, it became a no brainer for both of us.

3.How did you keep writing this book?

The bulk of the work took place over the winter, which is a wonderful time to write. After a weekday of copywriting (shoutout to MGH, Inc.) or a weekend of skiing (shoutout to the Rocky Mountains) I would cook dinner, throw on some music, and drive myself insane in front of my laptop. Thankfully I had Gary. Whenever I felt like I simply couldn’t come up with another silly way liberals and conservatives are different, I would think about how he was in Baltimore struggling with the same problem. I knew he’d deliver on his end, so that motivated me to deliver on mine. Next thing I knew we had a book.

4. Who is this book for, anyway?

Anyone who spends their hard-earned money on this thing has every right to love or hate it as loud as they please, but I’d like to think our ideal reader is any man, woman, or nonbinary human that is both aware of and at peace with where they fit in the ever-changing spectrum of political identity. If you only enjoy the jokes that pick on one side of the aisle, that’s fine with us, but you may be disappointed because Gary and I did put a lot of thought into picking on liberals and conservatives equally. Now, if you can go into it open to laughing at everyone, including yourself, we think you might really have some fun.

5. Any darlings you had to kill?

Yes, which is wild in hindsight because I still remember thinking there was no way we could deliver on the 200-page target the good folks at Humorist Books set for us. Sure enough though, our manuscript ended up being too long. Gary and I trimmed some fat, but our editor Brian Boone really helped us identify full sections that could go, and the book is much funnier as a result.

6. What are you working on now?

On the professional front, I’m working a fun mix of advertising projects with my awesome team at MGH. On the comedy front my current goal is to continue promoting Red Tie, Blue Tie until we dethrone Bill Maher for the best-seller in political humor. Once victorious, I’d like to give the 10,000 words of a novel currently collecting dust in my hard drive an earnest effort.

6 Important Writerly Questions with Matthew David Brozik

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Here’s a little sit-down we did with Matthew David Brozik, seasoned humor writer and author and the guy behind the just-released Humorist Books title, The Vowels of the Earth. A hybrid of literary sci-fi, really silly word humor, and old-school academic farce, it’s the 1940s-set story of the nefarious and alien-influenced origin of…the letter H. It’s a trip.

1. Who are you? What are you doing here?

Funny, those are the same first two questions I asked a small boy I found in my home recently! Turns out, he was my son, and he lived there. But me? I’m Matthew David Brozik, lawyer-turned-copywriter, author, husband—and, yes, father, it would seem. I’ve written a handful of humorous novels, although “handful” is misleading because any one of them would be enough to fill your hand and then some. So let’s say “several” humorous novels. And I’m here answering questions to the “best” of my “ability.”

2. Since “Where do you get your ideas?” is a terrible question, what made you want to write this book?

Thank you for not asking me terrible questions. I genuinely appreciate that. As it happens, I didn’t want to write this book. As I recount in the afterword, the germ of this novel was a short humor piece in the form of an interview with the protagonist decades after the events that changed his life. Some time after I finished that piece, I jotted in my writing notebook—and I’m not kidding about this—“Really bad idea: THE GREAT VOWEL GRIFT as a novel.” (“The Great Vowel Grift” was the name of that original short piece. I jotted the aforementioned note on October 28, 2015. This fact will be important in a minute.)

 

3.How did you keepwriting this book?

Are you suggesting that I shouldn’t have kept writing it? That’s just mean. In October 2015, I was one year into a seven-year stint at a terrible job. I was bored beyond my capacity to convey in mere words. To say that I was not intellectually stimulated would be an understatement. So once I had decided to write a novel about a disgraced one-eyed academic who takes on the unlikely challenge of helping to invent a new letter of the Roman alphabet, how could I not keep going? Looking over the pages upon pages of notes I took as I wrote the first draft between late October and late March of 2015, I’m reminded of just how much fun I had writing Vowels.

 

4. Who is this book for, anyway?

These questions are getting borderline accusatory. I might have to invoke my rights against self-incrimination. A while back, I came to terms with the fact that I write for myself more than for anyone else. And then I realized that there’s nothing wrong with that. Plenty of authors write for other people—the masses, even; I write stories that I want to read. And I write them in the way I like stories to be told. And then, I hope that there will be readers who will also want to read my work. Handfuls of them, even.

Another answer might be: you. If you’re reading this interview, then chances are very good that you’ll enjoy this book, and that means that you’re the person I wrote it for. You and me.

 

5. Any darlings you had to kill?

Of course. There was a big one. Fortunately, it did no violence to the story to remove it.

One kind of humor I really enjoy might be described as “bait and switch,” and might also be described as “pointless.” At the same time, I hate writing backstory. So when I realized that the reader might want to know how Jeremiah, the protagonist of Vowels, and his fiancée first met and all that sappy jazz, and I really didn’t want to write any of it, I came up with what I thought was a very amusing bit: I described a very outlandish, dramatic, Hollywood plot… in such a way that the reader would (I hoped) think that I was describing the start of Jeremiah and Leah’s romance…only to reveal that it was the plot of the movie they saw on their first date. It didn’t quite work. It was shaggy dog story that was a little too shaggy. Or not shaggy enough. So I took it out back, tied it to a tree, and… uh, I sent it to a farm upstate.

 

6. What are you working on now?

A couple of months ago, I left another job that was making me dumber every day. While I was still there, though, I started another novel that I’d like to finish writing. It’s called AFTERWIFE—but I don’t want to give away the plot lest anyone steal it and write a better novel than I can.

Other than that, I’m looking for a job I won’t hate and a new literary agent. Also, I have a milestone birthday coming up (or just past, depending on when this goes live), so I need to shop for a very expensive car and reading glasses.

 

The Vowels of the Earth is available now.

 

 

6 Important Writerly Questions with “Andrew Munge”

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1. Who are you? What are you doing here?

I’m Andrew Munge, pickup artist, penman, poet, pioneer and person. Most of all I’m the author of GETTING THE GIRL, Humorist Media’s BIGGEST selling book. My mission? To make men more mannish, mainly. On my book tour thus far I’ve met leagues of men who can’t talk to women, are scared of their dad, and don’t know how to fight (I do). I’m here to save MANkind. Ladies, you’re welcome.

2. Since “Where do you get your ideas?” is a terrible question, what made you want to write this book? 

I’ll answer the first question.

I don’t know.

3. How did you keep writing this book?

It kept writing me. There are so many beta boys and semi men who struggle to navigate women that I had to author GETTING THE GIRL (Humorist Media’s BIGGEST selling book) to help them. Whenever I got writer’s block or writer’s elbow I would harken back to young Munge and ponder how he could have used this book. It breaks my heart to remember nine year old me, getting ready for my first date. Sadie Wart had invited me over to her house after school (I can still hear her say “don’t forget your N64!”) I put so much effort into getting ready, dressing in my church clothes, plucking my unibrow, and massaging shampoo into my skin so I wouldn’t stink. Dressed to the tens, I carefully carried my N64 in its original box – including four controllers, all with rumble packs, and my best games – over to Sadie’s. I couldn’t wait to finally play it with another child. When I arrived I was impressed at how many cars her family owned, only to discover it was actually Sadie’s birthday party and wasn’t a date at all. I was emotionally devastated, but endeavored to make the best of my plight, setting up my N64 and welcoming my new friends to play. Sadie then immediately asked me to leave and I walked home alone in the snow. Sadie promised to give my N64 back (I’d saved up all my allowance/nana inheritance to buy it) but the very next day her family moved to Africa. It was my worst birthday ever (it was my birthday too) and then my other nana died. That’s how I kept writing.

4. Who is this book for, anyway? 

I feel I’ve already answered this but I’ll reiterate my point to boost our word count, thus the amount of advertising space you can sell. GETTING THE GIRL is for men who struggle to approach females. With my trademark TECHNIQUES readers will learn how to talk to females, how to date them and mate them. However, it’s more than just a pickup book, it’s a lifestyle guide, a non-religious Bible, an instruction manual on becoming a better, stronger, taller person. You can achieve anything, like how I made GETTING THE GIRL Humorist Media’s BIGGEST selling book. Even the publishers told me it couldn’t be done, that my book would never be so BIG, so this book is for every man who needs to hear he can do great things.

Women might like it too.

5. Any darlings you had to kill?

When I was five we had a cat called Darling. We had to put her down for being too old, but the poison didn’t work and Darling came back for a few seconds, screaming then vomiting then dying again. I had nightmares for years but now I never even think about it and don’t care and it doesn’t bother me. Now when I remember it I just laugh. I don’t care. What does this have to do with the book?

6. What are you working on now?

Finishing my newest book which I’ve been writing for two years. It tells the true tale of tracking down my father, reconciling with him, making him say sorry, and learning from him how to be a father myself. The book will be finished once I actually find my father.

But all that is for the future. Right now I can enjoy being Humorist Media’s BIGGEST selling book. They said it wouldn’t happen, but today I’m proud to reveal the dimensions of my book stand at 8.5 by 11 inches, making it BIGGER than any of the company’s other selling books. Originally I wanted GETTING THE GIRL to be the size of a fat atlas but the publishers wore me down. Even now they’re talking about making it “standard” size, but I’m sure that won’t happen.

Anyway, I have to go as my writer’s elbow is leaking.

Getting the Girl (a real book) by “Andrew Munge” (not a real person, thank heavens) is available now.

6 Important Writerly Questions with Mike Reiss

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Yes. That Mike Reiss.
If you’re a comedy nerd, you know exactly who Reiss is. He’s been writing and producing for The Simpsons for more than three decades. Not only has he helped shape the greatest television show and comedic entity of all-time, but he’s a de facto architect of modern comedy.
It’s pretty exciting then that Humorist Books is publishing Reiss’s new and very funny book, What Am I Doing Here? A Simpsons Writer Visits the World’s Hellholes So You Don’t Have To. Based on the podcast of the same name, What Am I Doing Here? is a collection of comical essays about Reiss’s extensive world travels, accompanied by pictures taken by his wife and collaborator, Denise Reiss. But this isn’t like all the other travel books. As heavily implied by that subtitle, the Reisses by and large travel to places most would consider anonymous, dangerous, and just plain not fun. Why? That’s the nature of wanderlust, and also, they got a great book out of it.
Here, let’s let Mike Reiss explain it.
1.Who are you? What are you doing here?

I’m Mike Reiss.  I’ve been writing for The Simpsons for 35 years. But in my spare time I travel. I’ve been to 134 countries.  Not by choice. I love my wife and she loves to travel, so I’ve literally followed her to the ends of the earth.

I’ve been to Iran, Iraq, the North Pole, the South Pole, Chernobyl – these are my vacations.   I’ve even been to North Korea – that’s the scary Korea! It’s all in my new travel book called “What Am I doing Here?” It’s fast, it’s funny, and it’s factual… enough.  You’ll hear how I was robbed in Rio, kidnapped in Honduras, dangled from a cliff in Pakistan, and chased by a lady with a meat cleaver, again in Honduras. I had a lot of problems in Honduras.

I visit all the world’s hotspots and hellholes, so you don’t have to.  You’re welcome.

2. Since “Where do you get your ideas?” is a terrible question, what made you want to write this book? 
I’d written a best-selling Simpsons memoir Springfield Confidential, and as a follow-up I decided to write about the other side of my life: dangerous world travel.  It’s a travel book, but in Simpsons style: fast, funny, irreverent, and with none of the boring parts.  Plus, there’s pictures!  No matter how crazy a story is, I have a photo to back it up!
3. How did you keep writing this book?
While I was working on the book, the Titan submarine imploded on its dive to the Titanic.  And I had seen the Titanic on that very sub a year before.  Suddenly I had a story the world wanted to hear.  It’s surprisingly funny and ends the book.
4. Who is this book for, anyway? 
It’s for anyone who wants a funny book, first and foremost.  You can also learn a lot about the world, stuff no other travel book has the nerve to say.  Like Iran is fun.  And the Northern Lights suck.
5. Any darlings you had to kill?
No, I I just set aside all my lesser travel stories for a second book.
6. What are you working on now?
What Am I Doing Here 2: The Cash Grab.